Blood Lite 3: Aftertaste
Blood Lite 3: Aftertaste (2012) — Antholgy edited by Kevin J. Anderson * Part of the: Blood Lite series * Publisher: Gallery Books May 29, 2012 * Book data: Paperback, 513 pages, Pub: May 29th 2012—ISBN: 1451636237 Genre and Sub-Genres Urban Fantasy Cover Description Sink you teeth into a smorgasbord of macabre morsels laced with horrific humor in the all-new Blood Lite collection! Whether you shriek with laughter or scream in fear... well, that's simply a matter of taste. Jim Butcher's wizardly PL Harry Dresden pranks some high-tech monster seekers- and attempts to save a friend's son whose life-energy is slowly being drained by an unknown adversary in "I Was a Teenage Bigfoot." The Author from Hell has dropped dead, but a stress-out editor is harassed by her emails from beyond the grave in Sherrilyn Kenyon's "A Day in the Life." The flesh is weak- and possible even rotting- as a teenage virgin werewolf discovers on a visit to a brothel in Kelley Armstrong's "V Plates." Murder comes alive in "Mannequin," by Heather Graham, as two thrill-seeking couples "axe" for trouble at a B&B with a bloody history. Editor and Authors Editor: Kevin J. Anderson (Sci-Fant, Anthologies) Contributors: Jim Butcher (UF), J.G. Faherty (Hor, YA, SciFi), Stephen Dorato (Horror), Jeff Ryan (Horror, Humor, NonFict), Mike Resnick (Steampunk), Lezli Robyn (SciFi, Fant, Hor), Will Ludwigsen (Hor, SciFi-Fant, Fict), Heather Graham (Myst-Thrill, PNR, Hist-Fic), Daniel Pyle (Hor, Myst-Thrill, Susp), Nina Kiriki Hoffman (Fict, SciFi-Fant, Hor), L.A. Banks (UF), John Alfred Taylor (Horror), David Sakmyster (Mys-Thrill, Hor, Hist-Fict), Norman Prentiss (Hor, Dark-Fant), Don D'Ammassa (SciFi, Hor, Dark-Fant), Adrian Ludens (Horror), Chris Abbey (Hor-Humor), D.L. Snell (Hor, Myst-Thrill, Sci-Fant), Ken Lillie-Paetz (horror), Sherrilyn Kenyon (PNR-UF), Lisa Morton (Hor, NonFict), Kelley Armstrong (UF), Brad C. Hodson (Horr, Hum, Hist-Fict), Lucien Soulban (Fantasy), Christopher Golden (UF, Hor, SciFant, UF), E.S. Magill (Hor, Fiction, Nonfict), Eric James Stone (SciFi, Fant), Jeff Strand (Humor, Horror),' Mark Onspaugh' (Horror, SciFict, Fant), Joel A. Sutherland (Myst-Thrill, Hor, SciFi-Fant), Mike Baron (Violent SciFi-Fant), ~ Goodreads | Blood Lite III: Aftertaste (2012) Description The third book in the hilarious and horrifying national bestselling anthology series from the Horror Writers Association--a frightfest of sidesplitting stories from such "New York Times" bestselling authors as Jim Butcher, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Heather Graham, L.A. Banks, Kelley Armstrong, and many more! Horror fiction explores the dark side of human nature, often pushing the limits of violence, graphic gore, and extreme emotions. But with the popularity of shows and movies, such as "The Walking Dead," "True Blood," "Twilight," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," audiences have demonstrated their love for the genre—especially accompanied with a dose of humor to tone down the terror. "Blood Lite III: Aftertaste" continues to put the fun back into dark fiction, featuring a wide range of humorous and highly entertaining horror-filled tales. Edited by Horror Writers Association founding member and award-winning author Kevin J. Anderson, the stories vary in tone from wry to downright laugh-out-loud funny. Featuring such well-known horror writers as Jim Butcher, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Christopher Golden, and many others, this collection of tales is perfect for anyone who enjoys being entertained as much as they love a good scare. ~ Goodreads | Blood Lite III: Aftertaste Supernatural Elements shifters, werewolves, vampires, fae, ghosts, demons, aliens, Bigfoot, demon, zombies, Haunted house, animated mannequins, supernatural barber shop Synopsis by Story 1. “'I Was a Teenage Bigfoot'” by Jim Butcher — The Dresden Files series #6.5 :Harry Dresden checks on a friend, Bigfoot’s teenage son in boarding school who is supposedly suffering from mono! Still, Harry does find a friend. ✥ 2.“'Blood Red Greens'” by Joel Sutherland :Main characters has golf game on the first day of the zombie apocalypse. Even a zombie apocalypse won't stop these old golfing buddies from playing a round. ✥ 3. “'V Plates'” by Kelley Armstrong — Women of the Otherworld series #10.4 :This story is narratored by Nick. — One of his teenage werewolves Noah needs to lose his virginity. Reese knows of a whorehouse in Phily. It gets interesting. ✥ Noah is tired of being twitted about his virginity and wants to "fix it," so Nick agrees to take him to a brothel. Anyway, of course it can't be that easy, so there's trouble. :Noah was tired of being teased about his virginity. At 18, he was small for his age, and the other guys at school made it a point to tease Noah about his lack of sexual experience. And to complicate matters, Noah dumped his girlfriend in order to hook up with the school bad girl. But Reese had another idea in mind. Heading into the city, Reese had booked a night of sexual pleasure at the local brothel, and Nick was not too pleased that Noah had gone to Reese with his sexual concerns and questions. 4. “'Put on a Happy Face'” by Christopher Golden :Horrifying tale of clowns and wishes—a clown tries to become the best. 5. “'Devil’s Contract'” by E.S. Magill :A rip on software Terms and Conditions. Accept or decline at your peril. 6. "Nine-Tenths of the Law of the Law" by Eric James Stone :A zombie lawyer takes on a ghost trying to evict the humans from his house as a client. ✥ The law offices of Thacker, Ford & Harward were on the upper floors of a downtown high-rise that had mostly escaped the ravages of the zombie troubles. I walked past the attractive, living receptionist and made my way toward a corner office, which I figured would hold one of the better lawyers. None of the lawyers themselves had escaped infection, of course, because the zombies had deliberately targeted lawyers, judges, and politicians during the initial stages of the plague. But that only made them better lawyers. Contrary to movie stereotype, the typical zombie did not shamble around, arms outstretched, searching for brains to eat, because most zombies had all the brains they needed: The average zombie had an IQ of 182.Blood Lite III: Aftertaste–Eric James Stone 7. “'Scrumptious Bone Bread'”—Jeff Strand :A serial killer wonders why that giant used ground up bones to make his bread. ✥ creepy take on Jack and the Beanstalk with a sociopathic nut case curious about bone bread and stupid enough to ask a friend to help. ✥ 8. “'Let That Be a Lesson to You'”—Mark Onspaugh :One person's paradise is anothers torture. ✥ tale involving Amazon.com, demonology, and animal and human sacrifice. Although, since it’s hurting a demon… 9. “Mint in Box”—Mike Baron :A collector finds out his treasure isn't all that it was cracked up to be. ✥ Pokes at all those collectors who buy toys and never remove them from their box. **Mint** **Still in its original box** It’s about a man collecting action figures…from obscure horror flicks. 10. “'The Great Zombie Invasion of 1979'″—JG Faherty :Tale of zombies vs drunk rednecks. ✥ 11. “'Dating After the Apocalypse'” by Stephen Dorato :A collector finds out his treasure isn't all that it was cracked up to be. ✥ 12. “'Typecast'” by Jeff Ryan :A truly nasty casting director and her put-upon assistant as they go out for a coffee break while casting a serial killer. The casting director must ruthlessly "cast" everybody she sees, revealing much more about herself than anyone else. ✥ 13. “'Making the Cut'” by Mike Resnick & Lezli Robyn :Romp set in a hair salon that caters to the supernatural crowd. ✥ Supernatural barber shop with a wide range of supernatural clientele including poor, unhappy, worried Lamont. He feels he’s letting down his ‘rassling fans, but Mavis inadvertently has the answer. ✥ 14. “'Acknowledgments'” by Will Ludwigsen :Ghost hunter's thank you for his latest book. ✥ Sends up the acknowledgements many authors write in their books, although his thanks are to all those who helped with his supernatural investigation. ✥ 15. “'Mannequin'”—Heather Graham :Two young couples who go away for an overnight stay at a bed and breakfast with a gruesome past and is supposedly haunted. ✥ Two young couples intend to spend the night at the Cantrell House. Renowned for the fate of its original owners and their murders, it’s a little bit’s Chucky with those mannequins all over the place. ✥ 16. “'Short Term'”—Daniel Pyle : A serial killer/rapist faces a very common problem. ✥ An old fart, Henderson, manages to break into someone’s house. Again and again and again and… ✥ 16. “'Distressed Travelers'”—Nina Kiriki Hoffman : A serial killer gets a little more than he bargained for with his latest victim. ✥ "Tim” loves airports for all the emotions they generate, such a harvest. Fortunately, “Tim” is a humanitarian, somewhere, inside that, whatever and “he” does humanity a favor. 17. “'Bayou Brawl'”—L.A. Banks (Possibly Crimson Moon universe) : story involving shifters, vampires, fae, humans, and demons up against aliens. And they’re in a hurry to take care of this mess before the military gets involved! God only knows what the fae would do if the army attacked! Banks twists on vampires, werewolves, full moons, and threesomes with a touch of Marie Laveau. ✥ Shows how a commmon enemy brings all the supernatural world together. ✥ Aliens versus the supernatural creatures of the bayou in Bayou Brawl. ✥ A love triangle between a human woman, a male werewolf, and a male vampire. ✥ 18.“'The Steeple People'”—John Alfred Taylor :About a plot by demons to secretly tempt churchgoers. ✥ A clever little business scheme with a concern for its accountant to verify its false set of books. From steeples to “roadkill” and a hijacked sprinkler system… 19. “'For Sale'” by David Sakmyster :Realator's listing for a slightly unusual house with decidely unique features and a colorful past to say the least. ✥ 20. “The Man Who Could Not Be Bothered to Die” by Norman Prentiss 21. “'The Last Demon'” by Don d’Ammassa :Ogerak the Off-putting escapes Hell and doesn't find the mortal realms incredibly welcoming. ✥ 22. “'A Misadventure to Call Your Own'” by Adrian Ludens :Set up like a choose your own adventure about a person who gets into a sticky situation. ✥ Protagonist made a bad decision last night and now he’s paying for it this morning. Let’s see where that body ends up. ✥ 23. “'Smoke and Mirrorballs'” by Chris Abbey :A parody of Dancing With the Stars, with Dracula, Van Helsing, The Mummy, and the like thrown in as contestants. ✥ A combination of Dancing with the Stars and famous characters from history and/or the classics. 24. “'BRIANS'!!!” by D.L. Snell :About an author's first time booksigning of his zombie novel. ✥ 25. “'Still Life'” by Ken Lillie-Paetz :Finds Elliott Lawson hysterically happy to hysterically terrified in one short day. Let this be a lesson to book reviewers, editors, and publishers. 26. "A Day in the Life” by Sherrilyn Kenyon :Finds Elliott Lawson hysterically happy to hysterically terrified in one short day. Let this be a lesson to book reviewers, editors, and publishers. ✥ An overworked editor, Elliott dreams of a day when she's not being harassed by her boss, her cat and her irritated writers. Like most Americans, she's underpaid and under-appreciated, living proof that Murphy was no fool. (Sheri Kenyon) ❖ Editor Elliot Larson is evidently being haunted by authors from her past. Gives us an editor unrealistically celebrating the death of her biggest-selling author. ✥ It proves you should watch how you treat people on your way to the top. ✥ 27. “'Old MacDonald Had an Animal Fa'rm” by Lisa Morton :What would happen if animals took over the world and you were the only person who could understand them? 28. “'Two for Transylvania'” by Brad C. Hodson 29. Dracula and Van Helsing teaming up together to scam villagers. 30. “'The Four Horsemen Reunion Tour: An Apocumentary'” by Lucien Soulban :Follow the making of a documentary on the preparations for the Big Show by the The Four Horsemen band. They have to replace Death who decided to not take part but everybody keeps dying before their auditions. References